Godly Marriage and Prodigal Children

I’ve been married for 32 years. My husband and I are best friends, have moved from coast to coast, raised five children together, buried family members, and continue to hope and dream together. It has not been smooth sailing. My husband is, shall we say, opinionated. I might be too. We both love to learn and read voraciously. We love learning and teaching and reaching goals.

We were both Christians when we married, and Christians we remain. We have struggled and wrestled with God, each other and our faith. But we are committed to the Gospel of Christ and to the Lord God Almighty. He is True and we believe wholeheartedly in Him.

This has led us to go off the beaten path more than once. We have homeschooled. I have graduate degrees and stayed home for 20 years to raise our larger than normal family. We eat a unique diet. We consume books and magazines and movies at the speed of sound. God has led us to walk a unique and narrower path. It’s been a little bumpy. There have been massive boulders in our way we’ve barely been able to climb over and sharp little rocks that have cut our feet to shreds, and tripped us up. The enemy knows just what it is that will cause us to stumble and fall. Satan hates those of us who love Jesus, hates our marriages, hates our kids, and hates our testimonies. If he can’t kill us outright, he will try to defraud us and bring us down through more devious means.

In the past couple of years, our family has undergone a number of challenges and tragedies. A friend recently commented to me that if she did not know us personally and hadn’t seen with her own eyes what we have been hit with, she never would have believed it.  It’s all been so bizarre. The latest onslaught has been particularly painful because it has involved adult children and extended family members.

As Christian parents, our greatest hope is that our children will follow the Lord, serve and love Him and that they would walk in fellowship with God and with us. When they doesn’t happen, it’s heartbreaking. We know more and more parents whose adult kids are walking away from the faith, walking in syncretism or the easy falseness of a grace based gospel. We have friends who have raised their children in Godly, Christian homes whose children have completely disowned them and cut them off with no explanation or way to make sense of it. Fidelity seems to be a thing of the past. The ability to “unfriend,” “block” and “ghost” online has made this an easy and viable option in real life.

Parenting prodigal children

It’s a unique twist to the prodigal story. Kids who don’t necessarily walk away from the church or the faith of their family, but walk away from their family. As flavors of churches increase in the age of tolerance, the acceptance of any type of belief or behavior, permeates the church, the parent who doesn’t accept unGodly attitudes and behaviors becomes the outcast, the one marginalized. Those who are committed to a Biblical behavior and the entirety of the Gospel – both law and grace- become the ones defined as intolerant, unloving and judgmental.

We have entered a time in the church in America where fear of a Holy God is diminished. Everything is considered more or less common. Even the Holy is considered common. In fact, commonness, to the exclusion of the Holy, is treated as a virtue. The sanctity of marriage and life, sex, family as set aside for a God-ordained purpose, has been diminished and redefined to mean whatever we want it to mean for the time and place we are in.

The definition of marriage and family is no longer something that is externally defined by a Living and Holy God, but whatever we deem it to mean for the moment. We have lost sight of the sacred and treat almost everything pragmatically. This allows for all manner of thought and behavior to occur, while one can still claim membership in a church, or adherence to the faith. This often leaves those of us who have been betrayed by family left even more alone as the church often does not work towards mediation, restoration, or truth, but simply supports everyone’s beliefs about everything.

The Godly response

What is the Godly response to the prodigal? The same as always. Cling to Jesus and indulge your faith. Do not indulge the prodigal, do not run after them. Do not interfere with the work that God may be doing – in their life and yours. Chuck Swindoll has a great series on this and his advice is worth prayerfully considering. God works all things together to those that love Him.” Do you love Him? ALL things will work together for good. It might not be for us, it might not be in our time. But we must place our hopes, dreams, children and legacy on the altar of God and trust that His good and perfect plan will be enough. He is a good, good father.

Don’t blame each other. Pray. And trust. For better, for worse means just that. When we are committed to a Godly marriage- a marriage that is dedicated to serving God- we can expect that the better will be better than we could imagine. The worse often is as well. When the worse includes our children- our legacy- it can churn up and bring out unresolved issues and we can turn on and attack our spouse. The enemy often uses blame, offense, gossip and lies to discredit us and the beautiful testimony that God is weaving. Don’t succumb to second guessing or blaming if you have faithfully, to the best of your ability, followed the Lord and His leading.

A Godly marriage and a Godly family are not often about our ease and comfort. It is about God doing a sanctifying and beautiful work in our lives and others, beyond what we could ask or imagine. It is a crucible. Stand fast in your marriage and in your belief and commitment to a Holy God. Trust Him for the work He is doing in, through and beyond you.

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Lisa Nehring

Lisa Nehring has been married for 32 years, has raised 5 children and has homeschooled for over 25 years. She is busy running True North Homeschool Academy while homeschooling her two youngest through high school. She is grateful to God for His unwavering goodness, holiness and redemption.

Latest posts by Lisa Nehring (see all)

• Godly Marriage and Prodigal Children - February 7, 2018