Encouragement for The Wife That Decided to Stay
Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?
To have and to hold, from this day forward?
In sickness and in health?
For richer or poorer?
For better or worse?
To love and to cherish until death do you part?
I do!
Those dear words cover a plethora of circumstances that could happen in any marriage and that is why I often tell wives that “I do” is only the beginning. The beginning of a life long journey that will mature you, test your faith and stretch you in many ways. Learning to become one doesn’t happen overnight nor is it always easy.
For the wives who are going through difficult situations in their marriages, I pray these words will bless and encourage you to stand strong and finish well.
Why Me, Lord?
The natural response to pain if to question why God is allowing the pain to happen. You may never know the answer to your why on this side of heaven, but if you are going to be the virtuous woman who God has called you to be then you must settle in your mind and heart that all things are working together for your good and God’s glory. None of the disciples, missionaries, and apostles in the Bible had it easy, either. So, why not you? Maybe you have been chosen for such a time as this! Chosen to break generational bondage that is holding your husband hostage, chosen to stand in the gap for your husband’s destiny, chosen to be relentless in praying your husband through and chosen to encourage others. Looking at things from those perspectives will quiet the defeating thoughts trying to coerce you into self-pity. Problems in marriage just don’t happen there is usually something deeper underneath the surface and God has called you to partner with him in manifesting His love and glory here on earth, starting with your marriage. That is why it has to be you, you’ve been chosen to do this.
Bearing the Shame of Your Cross
“Girl, you are stupid for staying!”
“My husband would never say that to me.”
“The Bible says, you can leave after what he did!”
“Not too many women are going to stay there and take that!”
“One day you will see what we all see”
As you stand for your marriage you may hear those statements or similar and it will hurt but keep on standing and doing what God has called you to do. It almost shocks me at how well-meaning people can say the most hurtful things when “trying to help”, but I want you to know that those statements and what people think about your marriage aren’t your concern. You can walk in confidence with your head held high knowing that God is with you. There is no need to feel ashamed of your choice to stay in your marriage. The enemy wants to break you by making you feel this way, but these are lies.
When I read the things that Job’s “friends” said to him, in a feeble attempt to make sense of his circumstances – it floors me every time. I could imagine the pain Job was already in after losing so much. Their words made it even worse. Just as Job did, you too can continue to stand on your convictions and endure to the end to get what God has for your marriage.
You are Stronger Than You Think
“But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore, I will boast even more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”
Sometimes it hurts to believe God especially when you see no change. You may get tired and just want it all to go away – it’s normal you are human. But in those moments when you feel God has sent you on mission impossible, take heart beloved God’s grace is more than enough. Don’t allow your flesh to abort the promise. God gives you power when you are weak and when you have no might He increases your strength. As you learn to wait on the Lord, He will renew your strength; you will mount up with wings like eagles, you will run and not be weary, you will walk and not faint! This is God’s promise for you, receive it!
Speak, Pray & Do the Word
Every day it’s important to be in God’s word. To connect and abide with the source of your help, hope, and strength. As you delight yourself in God’s word you’ll learn His character and God will pour out wisdom. You would be surprised at the unsearchable things God wants to reveal to you as you spend time in His word.
For many wives, their marriages have become idols and God has permitted things to happen so that your faith, hope, and confidence won’t be in people or in things, but the only unshakeable source. The enemy hates marriage, but you are an overcomer through Christ Jesus so continue speaking the word, praying the word and being a doer of the word.
I Leave You with This
God is purposeful and will never ask you to do anything He hasn’t made provision for. His sovereign will, and timing is without a doubt perfect so delight in knowing that God is well able to restore the years. There is no shame in doing what you believe God has called you to do so count it all joy. Never stop praying for your husband – God’s best is worth the commitment!
I pray that you will continually be encouraged,
Mae Blooms
- Encouragement for The Wife That Decided to Stay - February 16, 2019
This is so sad . There are circumstances where this approach could work BUT , in an abusive marriage ,praying it away won’t help. Some marriages aren’t worth saving , especially if children are at risk of harm . If there is abuse, don’t pray…LEAVE
Thank you for writing this! It spoke directly to my heart tonight when I needed these words desperately. I plan to print this out and read it over and over. Thank you so much.
I’m so glad that God’s grace is sufficient for me and His strength is made perfect in my weakness!
I still do, till death do us part. The devil is a liar I am an overcomer through my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ I thank God in advance for restoration and I pray that as I wait on Him, I continue seeking, speaking, praying and doing His Word
I love this line so much “God is purposeful and will never ask you to do anything He hasn’t made provision for.” Marriage is hard but when we keep our eyes fixed on God there can be so much joy – in the midst of the hard.