The Secret to a Godly Marriage Doesn’t Involve Money
The American dream is what our country has been built on. It’s the ideal that every U.S. citizen should have equal opportunity to achieve success and prosperity through hard work, determination, and initiative. This same dream of money and godly marriage can cause an intense competition.
The desire for more can also have a negative effect on a godly marriage.
A few years ago, my husband was on the cusp of becoming a successful business owner. His company was growing and honestly, he was making a lot of money. However, our twelve-year marriage was having a host of problems.
While he felt like all the stress and time away from our family was establishing and securing our future, I became envious and felt like I was competing for his time and love.
Fights became commonplace and the raising of kids both physically and spiritually was placed on me. The increase in stress and responsibility led my husband to begin drinking as a way to deal with all of the tension.
Not the Happy Married Life
How I envisioned our happy married life was not coming to fruition. This was not how I imagined a godly marriage.
Our relationship became strained because my husband was desiring worldly success while I was desiring more of his time and energy. We couldn’t meet eye to eye.
Is this why God warns us about the effects of yearning for materialism and worldly accomplishment?
Our relationship became strained because my husband was desiring worldly success while I was desiring more of his time and energy. We couldn’t meet eye to eye. Is this why God warns us about the effects of yearning for materialism and… Click To TweetFor the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.
It’s a Heart Issue
Here’s the thing, it gets tricky because God wants us to work hard and provide for our families. He wants us to work as though we are working for Him. God also wants us to work not only for the present time but also making good financial decisions which will affect our future.
The tricky part is that people will always argue needing money for families or to live. God blesses us with materials so some people might begin to use money in unwise or frivolous ways. These reasons are all true, but it boils down to where is your heart focused?
The tricky part is that people will always argue needing money for families or to live. God blesses us with materials so some people might begin to use money in unwise or frivolous ways. These reasons are all true, but it boils down to… Click To TweetWhen we want more and more and put God down the totem pole or when we make success a higher priority than our families, it’s wrong. If money and godly marriage compete, there are serious problems up ahead.
Money and Marriage Struggles
Divorce and marital strife are highly dependent on finances. It’s the biggest reason for troubles and disagreements in marriages. It causes stress, a decrease in well-being, anxiety, depression, and increases in addiction. While materialism has increased in our culture, people’s wellbeing has actually gone down.
We have so much and yet our nation is one of the unhappiest in the world. Anxiety and depression are at an all-time high. Even godly marriages are losing to the effects of materialism.
Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake.”
Money’s Effect on Marriage
- Bad financial decisions.
- Spending more than the money we have.
- Problems dealing with debt.
- Increased stress and tension from overspending.
What Are You Striving For: More stuff or God?
When we treat money how God wants us to, we experience freedom, power, security, and happiness.
It’s important to realize that only God can truly fulfill us. The yearnings and restlessness we have are because we need God. Only He can make us truly happy, not the next gadget or goodie. When both spouses grasp this, they will understand that money is a tool: to care for our families and to help spread the Gospel.
So here’s the foundational question, is your godly marriage striving for worldly success or Godly success?
One will fulfill always and the other will have you chasing for more to fill the emptiness.
Changes We Made
In our marriage, we made huge changes. The greatest change: we moved a few hours away from the company as to enable boundaries. We redesigned our priorities making God, marriage, and family higher.
All of these things were intentional things we did. My husband and I didn’t just expect it to happen but had to work at making and sticking with these changes.
We re-committed to living with an eternal purpose, money is a tool for spreading the Gospel. We actively looked for ways that God was calling us to extend giving instead of purchasing another item.
Finding balance in work and family life is always something we all need to fine-tune.
Honestly, my husband still deals with the temptation to grow his company and experience worldly success. When he starts to feel these feelings, he talks with me and we again re-commit to what we have chosen.
We know that a fulfilling godly marriage begins with God and not with the love of materials or money.
Those who trust in their riches will fall, but the righteous will thrive like a green leaf.
When we look back over the footprints of our journey, God will start unmasking the hard places. Joy and wonder will fill us because there was meaning in the mess for us.
Blog: https://www.unmaskingthemess.com
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- The Secret to a Godly Marriage Doesn’t Involve Money - February 16, 2018
Finances have been a huge source of stress for my marriage too. Living off of a teacher’s income is hard! We’ve sacrificed a lot of time together too because teachers work so many hours. I agree that the heart needs to be focused on God in order to have a fulfilling marriage – it’s what’s worked for us too!
I found this to be extremely helpful! We are entering in to unknown days as my husband switches careers. Money is the source of my anxiety. Will there be enough? Will we become greedy? You are right, God must be first! In all we do, God must be first!
“When both spouses grasp this, they will understand that money is a tool: to care for our families and to help spread the Gospel.” – This is such an important lesson for both spouses to understand and agree upon. Money, in and of itself is not bad, it’s when it becomes a higher priority than God and our spouse/family then it is a problem. Great post Julie!
“What are you striving for: more stuff or God?” That’s a great question to get to the heart of who you are serving.
I love this post. Its a fine balance – prividing for family and living committed to God. I love how you wove the point of staying content with what we’ve got. Family is building heaven on earth.
This is Great! I love this whole topic. Like the word says the love of money is the root of all evil. We have to be content with what we have. Focus on God and the rest will follow.
super post and not talked about enough. money and our different views of needs/wants was a huge disconnect in our marriage – it took a lot of work/tears etc to walk in the Spirit in those early days and years! we have so much more than the rest of the world, yet not always the peace that God provides.