Recognizing the Anointed One In Your Christian Marriage

What does it mean to recognize the anointed one in your Christian marriage?

It is important to recognize the anointing that the Lord has placed in our spouses.

This is something that Lord has been impressing upon me more as my husband and I travel through our married life together. It impacts us personally as well as in ministry.

Nurturing the Anointed One in Your Christian Marriage.

The Lord has a plan and destiny for your spouse. That destiny impacts your spouse’s life.  His gifts, callings, and inclinations will impact and enrich his life and those who will interact with as well.

Your spouse is not just your spouse. Our husbands serve many different roles and wear many hats. They are fathers, brothers, sons, leaders in the community, and contributors to society. They speak into the lives of young men and women, children, parents, and co-workers.

Life as a Young Married Woman

I remember as a young married woman appreciating the calm strength that my husband possessed.  There were times when life got crazy and busy, I would appreciate the level of calm and peace his presence would provide.  I felt his concern, encouragement, and prayers.

Of course, the enemy would not allow that to grow and develop without some opposition.  He quickly and skillfully placed obstacles to the peace and connection that we walked in.  It was a challenge not to yield to my flesh and walk in distrust and self-protection.

Sadly, I have to admit, that there were times when I did yield.  These were times of tension and difficulty.  I had to learn to go against my flesh and pray blessings upon my husband and declare strength.  I wish I could say I always leaned upon the Holy Spirit in this way. The truth is there were many times when I embraced the natural tendency of self-preservation.

Self-Preservation In Christian Marriage.

What did self-preservation look like for me in my Christian Marriage?

It’s important to note self-preservation is not God’s plan.  He is the life preserver.

I tried to control certain elements of my life that I should have yielded to the Lord. There was difficulty in discussing finances and sticking to an agreed-upon budget because of a lack of trust.

I leaned towards always having my own finances to control.  The problem was not having a job or a separate pot of money. The problem was the lack of trust and transparency this represented.

Many women contribute in some way to family finances.  There are many different ways to do that so again, the problem wasn’t having a job but it was the tendency not to trust the plan that my husband and I developed.

Please understand, my husband had a responsibility in how he approached our relationship.   There was cause for concern on how money was spent.

Our Husbands are not Perfect.

As wives, we experience strain in this area because our spouses may not be the best at providing security.  The challenge comes in maintaining trust in the Lord when what we see before us is not good.  My part was to trust the Lord and I was not very good at that.

If I truly leaned on the Lord and trusted him I believe I would have had the courage to put less energy into protecting myself.  Clearly, I was out of balance.

My thoughts were centered on myself rather than my spouse.  I was focused on making sure I had what I needed instead of trusting the Lord.

I was also trying to be loving and kind towards my husband.  The Lord does not want us walking in this kind of double-mindedness.  Only our Heavenly Father can be the life-preserver.

• A double minded man is unstable in all his ways. James 1:8 (KJV).   Only our Heavenly Father can be the life-preserver.

I Learned How To Be a Help Meet in My Christian Marriage.

My husband needed me to support and encourage him so that he could impact others.  I needed to fulfill my role as a help-meet in order to assist him in the destiny the Lord had placed in him.

• And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him (Gen. 2:18). (KJV)

Our husbands are destined to impact the lives of those around him.  His perspective often provides clarity for those that are younger and in need of support.

I had to shift my perspective so that I could be a positive force through the Holy Spirit.  Focusing on myself did not allow for that.

The Lord had to change me and my heart.

The change came as I focused on praying for my husband.  Part of the process was praying for myself as well. The Holy Spirit showed me the difference between praying for my husband as opposed to praying about my husband.

A Lesson from The Shack: Trust in the Christian Marriage

To drive home the point, let me draw your attention to a scene from the movie The Shack.  William P. Young wrote this book out of obedience to his wife.  This was a gift to his children to help them understand some of the reason behind the way he viewed life.

It is an allegory written with the intent of helping his children understand some of the trauma he experienced as a child.

To get a complete understanding of the purpose behind The Shack, you can check out this Youtube video.   The main character in the movie faced a devastating emotional blow.  In the natural, it is easy to understand his rage and anger.

It is natural to feel anger and want to see the person who has caused us harm pay for what they did.

Our Heavenly Father wants us to take a different approach. Jesus is our example.

He came to his own and his own rejected him.  Jesus spoke words of forgiveness for those that crucified him.

• Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do (Luke 23:34 KJV).

In the movie The Shack, Father is bringing the main character, Mackenzie Allen Phillips, to the point of realizing that he is going to have to forgive the person responsible for his pain.

Spoiler Alert:

Father and Mackenzie are talking about forgiveness.  Mackenzie states that he does not want to forgive the person who killed his young daughter.

I can only imagine the level of pain that Mackenzie experienced and here he was being asked to forgive his daughter’s killer.  As I watched the movie, Mackenzie says to God, “but He killed my daughter.”

The Holy Spirit took that moment and spoke to my heart…

BUT YOU KILLED MY SON.

I felt myself wince as I faced a sobering reality.  I felt Mackenzie’s pain of losing his daughter. God the Father was saying He felt that pain too.  It was my sin that put His Son on the cross.

God freely forgave me.

I was called to do the same thing.

I also realized that I could not do this in my own strength.  This would take the supernatural strength of the Holy Spirit.

To be clear,  the statement was made in a matter of fact way. It wasn’t said in an accusatory manner.

It was just a matter of fact presentation of the result of our sin.  Our Heavenly Father experienced excruciating pain because of our rejection of Jesus Christ.  There is a level of rejection of what he died for as we choose to live lives apart from Him.

Finding Grace in the Christian Marriage.

Our Father could identify with the pain this father experienced because he lost His child also.  It is the knowledge that the Lord can relate to our pain and even walk us through it that helps me understand that I can lean on him through my struggles.

I believe we are designed in a way that makes it necessary for us to lean on the Lord.  There are certain things in life that we cannot handle without the strength of the Lord. Of course, the enemy is going to make sure that most of the events of life are going to be too difficult to handle without the help of the Lord. We need to lean on the Lord. This is where the safety is.

One of the scriptures that helped me in this process is Psalm 138:6

• For though you are lofty and exalted you stoop to embrace the lowly. Yet you keep your distance from those filled with pride.   (TPT)

The choice had to be made between trusting the Lord or trusting myself to run my life.  I know that I wanted a close relationship with the Lord but I was also keenly aware of the risk involved.

Living in a Christian Marriage is a Process.

This is a marathon, not a sprint.

There are critical choices to make in your marriage. There will be times when expectations may not be met.

Psalm 139:24 from The Passion Translation says:

• See if there is any path of pain I’m walking on, and lead me back to your glorious, everlasting ways- the path that brings me back to you.

This passage reminds me that there is a path that I can walk that keeps me from a close relationship with the Lord.  That path of pain is the one where I am trying to live a life where I am in control instead of allowing the Lord to control my life.

The Lord’s promises are good and life-giving.  His everlasting ways are those that provide life and joy and close relationship with him as well as with our spouses.

Christian Marriage: Walking Hand in Hand with the Lord

The process allowed me the grace to see my spouse from the Lord’s perspective.  I was able to demonstrate the respect that I needed to give him.

This is one of the major purposes of my role as a wife to my husband. The Bible commands that wives respect their husbands. We know that this can be difficult but this is why we lean on the Holy Spirit.  We can not do this without His strength.

As I learned to trust the Lord more fully, I received the grace needed to respect my husband in the way the Lord intended.  I was able to view him from a Godly perspective.  This also enabled me to see my husband as God’s anointed.

I was able to see that his protectiveness was something to be valued as opposed to an annoyance because I thought he was being overly cautious. His playfulness made others laugh and feel comfortable as opposed to my feeling like it was just silliness.  These are just a couple of areas that the enemy would use to bring a place of separation and division between us.

My Scales Fell Off in My Christian Marriage.

The Holy Spirit was able to move the irritation out of the way and clear my vision.  As the vision cleared I began to perceive the depth of the gift my husband is.

Clearly, this is not a one and done type of proposition. I need to bring my irritations to the Lord on a daily basis.  I am sure my husband is doing the same thing.

The Lord showed me specific ways that I was to show respect to my husband.

• Complimenting him to others
• Point out his positive qualities to others
• Acknowledging the safety and security he provides
• Receiving words of encouragement from him
• Receiving prayer from him

As each married couple differs in personality and dynamics, the Lord will show you specific ways you can honor your spouse.  This is the beauty of having a personal relationship with the Lord.  He knows our innermost thoughts and motivations and will give us specific strategies to bless our spouses.

Psalm 139:23 speaks to how well the Lord can know us. (TPT)

• God, I invite your searching gaze into my heart. Examine me through and through, find out everything that may be hidden within me.  Put me to the test and sift through all my anxious cares
     

We can invite him to examine us and reveal our shortcomings. The Lord not only examines us but he will tell us how to make the necessary adjustment.  He will also deliver us from weaknesses and shortcomings that hinder our relationships.

Here is one of the ways I began to pray for my spouse.  I hope this post has been helpful and encouraging.

Praying for your Spouse

• Prayer: Heavenly Father, I thank you for my husband. Thank you for his life and protecting him. Lord, I bless him and declare life over him. Thank you that he walks in wisdom in finances and relationships.  I thank you that he leans heavily upon your wisdom.  Thank you that he seeks you for clarity and wisdom.  Lord, you have promised to prepare a table before him in the presence of his enemies.  You have promised that no weapon formed against him shall prosper.  I thank you that you have him in the palm of your hands.

How has the Lord encouraged you in your marriage?  Have you prayed for your spouse?   How have you prayed for yourself in relation to your marriage?  Please share. We all benefit from one anothers testimony.

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Rosemerry Blash

Owner and Director at Blashlearning and Daystar Arising Academy

Hello! My name is Rosemerry Blash.I am a Child of the Risen Savior, Jesus Christ, the Director of Daystar Arising Academy and Blash Tutoring Service. I am an educator with over twenty years of elementary teaching experience under my belt.I have a heart for children and families.
I have a particular interest in and love for phonics and cursive handwriting. Check out my post on the subject and download the Blash Cursive Phonics freebie I have created for you.

https://wp.me/p96V55-8E

The focus of my blashlearning.net blog is to provide information and encouragement to families that want to raise their children with a Christian worldview and I also share information and insights from the Charlotte Mason approach of education.
Daystararisingacademy.org is centered around educational materials and online tutoring.

I have a wonderful husband who shares my heart for families and children.We have two children that are young adults, love the Lord and are making their impact on the world.
You can find me on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/blashlearning.net/
and Periscope @RosemerryBlash
I would love for you to come visit.

Latest posts by Rosemerry Blash (see all)

• Recognizing the Anointed One In Your Christian Marriage - February 25, 2019
• Naomi: Restoration in Covenant - May 18, 2018